So as the summer is fast approaching I’m sure everybody is dying to know what progress we’ve made with ‘the battle of the four garden chairs’. Also known as ‘the loosing battle’, or ‘the reason why my hair turned grey’. So what’s the status quo. Well, one could say that I have successfully managed to keep the dogs away from my garden chairs. Unfortunately it’s opened a whole new can of worms, a phenomenon that many Dachshund owners will recognize as ’reversed progress’.
Here’s what the little darlings have come up with for this season:
-Even though you have been using a cat flap for years, you suddenly decide that it can only be used to go out into the garden and not to go back inside again.
-You train the human to let you back inside the house by either a piercing sit stare or a well timed imperative bark. Make it snappy.
-You stick to this new cat flap protocol firmly.
-You wait until the human is comfortably seated in garden chair, go outside through the cat flap in the screen door, then decide you immediately need to go back inside again because you’ve seen a fly.
-Being the only one inside sucks, so you go outside again, but then you need to go back inside immediately because you’ve seen a fly.
-You come up with the same reasons for Bumblebees.
-Or anything that flies.
-If the human closes off the cat flap permanently, you simply use the well timed imperative bark to get her to open the screen door for you so you can join her in the garden. Where it’s fun.
-But then again, flies are tricky little buggers and are extremely dangerous…
-If the human mutters something about Feng Shui and leaves all doors open, you can go as you please. So can the flies.
-Train the human to come and rescue you from flies inside the house, using the well timed imperative bark.
-Make human aware of the fact that the only place you can be completely safe from anything with wings is in a tight squeeze between her and her garden chair.
Really, if it weren’t for the sheer brilliance of it all, I’d be incredibly annoyed. This will be, as they say, continued…